A Price Paid
by Eco Lin
Summary: *AU of 1x13* Merlin's life for Arthur's. It was simple. But not for Arthur. Pre-Season 2 and 3. Sorry about the lame summary and the time frame, just check it out. Slash. My first Merlin fic... Enjoy. *UPDATED AND COMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** So, yeah, this is my first Merlin fanfic. It's Merthur -don't like, don't read. Also, insert disclaimer here. Any-who, kinda spoilers for 1x13, AU of that episode, eventually CHARACTER DEATH, and no spoilers for season 2. Enjoy.

**A Price Paid**

It had been an uneventful journey back to Camelot for Merlin as he carried with him his precious prize, Arthur's cure, and his own death wish. Merlin didn't care through. The only thing that mattered was that Arthur was alright. He was expendable, Arthur was not; it was that simple.

Merlin thought briefly about what Nimueh had said, about the extra day she would give him to say his goodbyes. He already knew he wouldn't tell anyone what he had done to save Arthur. We didn't want all the tears and the pain, but most of all, he didn't want to lose courage himself. Merlin knew he was not as brave as Arthur; that's why he was so scared of being scared. Merlin laughed to himself at the slight paradox.

Looking around, he recognized the city of Camelot in the distance and rode faster; after all, he had a prince to save.

----------

Leaving Arthur's chamber's had been near impossible for Merlin. Still, he had managed somehow. He walked with Gaius somewhat aimlessly, so he was caught off-guard when Morgana suddenly grabbed him and pulled him into a private corner.

She looked up deeply into Merlin's eyes, her own eyes dark and almost unseeing and crazed. She spoke quickly and softly, "It won't be over."

There was a pause as Merlin and Morgana looked at each other. Both were afraid to say anything. Morgana would not say what she had dreamt, and Merlin would not ask her, but he had a feeling she knew what he was going to do.

The pause ended as Merlin moved himself and walked away, leaving Morgana and her foreboding behind.

Morgana's eerie words had quickly passed right through him without affecting him, as he had been soon distracted by more thoughts of Arthur. He wanted to do nothing more than to wait by Arthur's bedside for him to recover. However, if he even stayed a moment longer, Merlin was sure he would hold on to Arthur and never let him go. Merlin couldn't do this; he had made a bargain, and Merlin knew that Arthur was worth anything, even his own life, and if he could do it over, he would give his life for Arthur's again with no hesitation.

Why?

Well, as Merlin walking aimlessly across and out of the palace with Gaius to their chambers, he pondered that question in his mind. Why was it that the idea of seeing Arthur is pain so horrible to him? Why did Arthur's injury seem to hurt Merlin more than if he had been the one struck down? Why was the fear that Arthur may not wake up so unacceptable, so agonizing? Why was it that if Arthur was no longer living, Merlin felt like he could not go on? Why was it that all Merlin wanted to do was be with Arthur until the day he died?

These questions only brought up other nagging thoughts that had plagued Merlin these last few months.

Why couldn't Merlin remember his life before meeting Arthur? How many people would Merlin kill to keep Arthur safe? Why did he almost feel jealous of the attention Arthur gave Sophia and the other women in his life? Why did being with Arthur leave him smiling? Why, if the Crown Prince was such a prat, did Merlin care so much about him? Why was Arthur the first person he thought about when he woke up every morning and the last person in Merlin's mind as he feel asleep? When Arthur was dueling, why couldn't Merlin ever keep his eyes off of him? Why did Merlin need Arthur so much?

The words he knew to be the answer were on the tip of his tongue, but Merlin could not know how to speak them.

Merlin had always known he cared about Arthur more than just a servant, maybe more than a friend. At first, Merlin believed that destiny was what had brought him to Arthur, but now, it was something much stronger that kept Merlin by Arthur's side.

Once they had entered Gaius' chambers, Gaius turned to Merlin, face ablaze with desperation. Gaius knew what Merlin had done to save Arthur; Merlin could see it in Gaius' eyes. Gaius opened his mouth to interrogate or try to talk Merlin into reconsidering the decision, but he seemed to see the pleading look in Merlin's eyes. He saw how important this was to Merlin, and Gaius knew he couldn't let Merlin watch Arthur or someone else close to him die. Gaius stepped forward and gave Merlin a deep hug and allowed himself to let one tear fall. Gaius pulled out of the hug and said quietly, "I will always think of you as a son to me. I'll take care of Arthur." With that, Gaius let his chambers and left Merlin to his lingering questions about Arthur.

----------

Only hours or frantic pacing later did Merlin dare to voice his feelings aloud to the empty room.

"I ... I think ... I lo-"

His voice faltered as he heard footsteps approaching the chambers.

The door opened as Merlin turned to see Gaius slide into the chambers. Fear gripped Merlin's chest as he waited for some news on Arthur's condition.

"The prince lives." Gaius' voice uttered.

Relief, sweet relief was pounding in Merlin's veins as he felt his entire soul collapse with joy. Merlin grabbed his head and let out a genuine smile. It had worked. Arthur was going to be alright, and that was all that Merlin needed to know. There was nothing keeping him here now. This was good ... Merlin thought. He was now more happily resigned to his fate now that he knew he had not failed Arthur and his destiny. After all, regardless of what Arthur may think, Arthur's life was worth much more than Merlin's. 'In fact,' Merlin thought, 'if I had thousands of lives, I would give them all for my king ... my friend ... Arthur. However, this one life should be enough for now.' Merlin felt his smile slacken shyly as he turned back to Gaius.

Gaius gave him a small, understanding smile in return.

The room was stiff in the silence. Merlin sighed, he hated being so insensitive, but his bargain was not yet done. Merlin felt his eyes flash gold as he muttered some unintelligible words under his breath. Gaius' eyes glazed over with sudden exhaustion and Merlin caught his mentor's slumping figure and guided Gaius to the man's cot.

Setting the physician on the bed, Merlin gently crooned some excuses, "I have to save him, Gaius. I have to. I'm sorry."

Not that Gaius heard Merlin. He was fast asleep under Merlin's spell, but Merlin quietly whispered, "I need to say goodbye to Arthur now."

This part was something that Merlin had been dreading was his goodbye to Arthur. However, he couldn't leave without saying goodbye - it would feel wrong. Still, Merlin had a feeling that saying goodbye to those stunning blue eyes would be the hardest part of his sacrifice.

**A/N:** So, what do you think? Sorry for lovey-dovey OOC-ness. PS-Morgana's creepy warning to Merlin is important-ish. Please review/comment. Next couple of chapters are already written so they'll be up ASAP.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** So, insert disclaimer here and enjoy.

**A Price Paid**

Merlin stood outside Arthur's chambers, hand hesitantly reaching for the door handle. Merlin was afraid. More than he had possibly ever been in his life. Merlin could only think of making this moment count, for it to be pure and real. This had to be the moment where Merlin had to say the goodbye that would break his heart and seal the coffin of Merlin's connections to life.

Merlin took a deep, calming breath to give him strength, and with that pushed the door gently open.

There the prat was, sitting in all his smug glory, drinking heartily and with ease, as if his wound had been nothing but a bruise from a small tumble.

Merlin inwardly grimaced and cringed at the sight of Arthur's casted arm. He hated seeing Arthur so hurt and vulnerable.

"Ah... Merlin." Arthur's voice was full of the arrogant business as usual attitude that drove Merlin mad.

"How are you?" Merlin asked gently, trying to avoid Arthur's piercing eyes.

"Good."

"I'm pleased."

"Yes - I owe it all to Gaius."

Merlin enjoyed the small talk, but he felt himself already starting to lose courage.

Merlin took another breath, "I need to talk to you."

Arthur, that prat, that absolutely, infuriatingly, perfect prat, snidely retorted, "You still haven't got it yet, have you? I decide when we need to talk."

Merlin wasn't going to let Arthur stop him; he had to say what he had on his mind. "Not today."

There was a tender moment of silence as they looked into each other's blue eyes, searching them and testing their owners.

"I sometimes wonder if you know who I am."

"Oh, I know who you are," Merlin sincerely meant with all his being.

"Good," Arthur drawled. Gods, he could really was a prat sometimes.

Merlin didn't realize it, but the words were already pouring out his mouth.

"You're a prat," Arthur looked up, and it took all of Merlin to refrain from laughing at his face, "and a royal one."

Arthur gave a tiny snicker and asked exasperatingly, "You ever going to change, Merlin?"

Merlin wished the smile that wasn't showing on his face could appear, but the moment felt too bittersweet.

"No, you'd get bored."

There was a small pause, but in that moment, he felt his relationship with Arthur was wrapping itself up on it's own. This nearly perfect moment with Arthur was all it took for Merlin's resolve to break. He had to speak now.

All he came up was the cryptic goodbye that the dragon would be proud of.

"Promise me this, if you get another servant, don't get a bootlicker."

Arthur was as oblivious as ever. "This is you trying to leave your job?"

"No," Arthur started to rub his injured shoulder, "I'm happy to be your servant till the day I die."

Arthur's head rose to meet Merlin's deep daze and in that moment, their souls met through their eyes.

The moment persisted; Merlin, trying to send a deeper message with his eyes, and Arthur, trying to understand and send the message back.

However, perfect moments can only last for but a moment.

"Sometimes I think I know you, Merlin, other times..." Arthur's eyes were on his goblet now.

"Well, I know you," this caught Arthur's searching eyes again, "and you're a great warrior. One day, you'll be a great king."

Suspicion and unease laced Arthur's words as what Merlin was saying was finally sinking in, "That's very kind of you."

However, Merlin couldn't help being honest, these were his dying words, weren't they, in a way? "But, you must learn to listen as well as you fight."

Obviously, Arthur was not in the mood to be taught a lesson. "Any other pointers?" The sarcasm was unmistakable.

Merlin dejectedly realized the conversation had ended, "No, that's it," still, he tried to finish with something, something, maybe Arthur would remember him by, "Just - don't be a prat."

Merlin turned and left, leaving a very puzzled prince in his wake.

----------

Arthur stared at the closed door through which Merlin had just left so definitely. For some reason, Arthur felt all wrong, like his stomach was ill, and he knew it wasn't anything to do with his injury. It was what Merlin has said. He had talked about Arthur's future as though he wouldn't be there to see it, and the way he said he would serve Arthur until he died... Although Arthur doesn't admit it, he knows he's a prat, so why would anyone want to serve him until they died unless they were going to die soon? It didn't make sense.

Arthur's brow furrowed as he thought about Merlin. Merlin was there for Arthur in more ways then anyone had ever been. Although he was arguably the worst manservant ever, Arthur appreciated Merlin's vivaciousness, persistence, and conscience. Without him, Arthur easily conceded that he would have been dead a long time ago. Thanks to Merlin, Arthur also realized now that he was a better person, and he didn't want to lose that.

Merlin. The idea of never seeing Merlin again chilled Arthur to his core. Why would Merlin saying his last words to Arthur now? It couldn't have anything to do with his own miraculous recovery - could it? He had said that his miracle was thanks to a guardian angel, but could Merlin be his guardian angel? Arthur had heard that someone could save someone's life by exchanging their own, but this was rumored to be magic of the Old Religion, and according to his father, the darkest and most dangerous magic of all sorcery.

With that, a piece of the puzzle slid into place, and Arthur jolted as he muttered frantically, "But, Merlin couldn't have gotten himself involved in that kind of sorcery, after all, he's Merlin for the gods' sakes. Manservants don't dabble in dark magic... Merlin doesn't do evil things. Why would he be able to do magic if it's all evil?"

Merlin was the most pure person Arthur had ever met. The strangest, too, but with the best intentions at heart.

Inside his head, Arthur settled down, reminding himself that he shouldn't get ahead of itself. Merlin had just come to see how Arthur was doing and along the way he had said some deeply profound statements of loyalty. It could have just been Merlin acting up, as usual, but now here was Arthur, already fearing his dearest friend was a sorcerer who had given his own life to save Arthur's. It was absurd. After all, this was Merlin he was talking about, Merlin, the worst manservant in the history of the universe, and here he was thinking he might be a powerful warlock with grand, powerful abilities. No. No, not possible.

Arthur shook his head at his crazy conclusion, trying hard to dismiss all of his fears and doubt. Still, deep in his heart, Arthur knew that he was kidding himself thinking there was anything ordinary about Merlin. Even after only their second meeting, Arthur was sure that there was something about Merlin. Something Arthur just couldn't put his finger on. Sometimes, when Merlin would smile and Arthur would laugh with him, Arthur would think to himself that the way he was drawn to Merlin, well, it was almost like magic...

All in all, the Crown Prince could not find sleep that night, as all he could think of was his dear Merlin.

----------

Merlin was incredibly silent as he left Arthur to mend on his own. Although Merlin didn't want to go through the tearful goodbyes, he wanted Arthur to know at least some advice for his destiny, as it would seem that Merlin's destiny was ending sooner than expected.

Also, silly as it sounded, he wanted Arthur to remember him, to have their last conversation be a meaningful one.

'At least,' Merlin thought wistfully, 'he'll remember me as the servant who called him a prat and got away with it.'

He walked back to Gaius' chambers, opened the door, and was glad to see Gaius was already sleeping. Merlin felt a twang of guilt knowing that his sleeping spell had done its job very well. However, it was better this way, as Merlin didn't have the heart to have to explain anything to Gaius' face. Gaius would see through any story Merlin could throw at him. Gaius should wake up peacefully the next morning without a care in the world; it would be the least Merlin could do for his overworked mentor. Merlin left a note for the man who had practically been a father explaining everything, and grabbed a traveling cloak for the return to the Isle. Merlin sneakily "borrowed" a horse from the court stables and took off into the night to the Isle where he would die.

And he was doing all of this for the kingdom's biggest prat. That wonderful prat who was not half the jerk he played himself to be. Arthur really was wonderful, Merlin would admit after a few drinks. He could even guess that if he drank too much, Merlin would go ahead praising Arthur's bravery, righteousness, humor, compassion, and hair. Merlin had realized somewhere along his friendship with the heir to the throne that Arthur was like magic.

And Merlin would know.

Thinking of Arthur, Merlin felt a little flutter recalling what he had almost admitted, those feelings that Merlin would never admit, not even to himself. "Perhaps I should have told him," Merlin murmured aloud to the passing mountains. "I mean, I had nothing to lose."

He shook his head softly; it was too late for regrets and he didn't need to sour Arthur's opinion of him. And even if Arthur cared even a fraction for Merlin of what Merlin felt for Arthur, then Merlin wished not to know. It would make Merlin anxious about Arthur's poor coping mechanisms. He could only hope that Arthur would not feel guilty, or do anything rash.

Merlin tried to banish his thought of Arthur as he tried to focus on summoning and riding the small boat over the lake. Still, Merlin could only think of Arthur, even as he entered the Isle and prepared to die. After all, Merlin was doing this for him.

**A/N:** So, how was it? Sorry, if you couldn't tell, this story is going to be "character-driven," which means not that much action or even dialogue, but lots of feelings and such. REVIEWS and COMMENTS make the next chapter come faster.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** insert disclaimer here and enjoy some *cough cough* "action." (NO! NOT like THAT, dirty minds, people!) Hopefully, Arthur will realize what Merlin's up to and save him.....

**A Price Paid**

Arthur tossed and turned for most of the night, but once it was nearing dawn, he felt a terrifying jolt in him. This sudden shock was something in his heart, a feeling so deep of gloom, foreboding, and pain that Arthur was sure that part of him had died. He gasped, trying to catch his breath; it was almost like he knew that something, or someone had died, but that someone was a piece of him, too. He sat up stiffly, ignoring the searing pain in his shoulder. He then quickly did his best to dress himself using only one arm.

He had an instinct that told him he knew who was in danger and he wasn't going to let that happen.

Arthur set off in a run towards Gaius' chambers in the rising sunlight to seek out Merlin. Still, the feeling of dread lingered, telling him that it was too late.

Arthur quickly rapped on the wooden door of the Court Physician's home, and waited for a response. After what felt to Arthur as a long while, the door opened slightly forward as Gaius squinted at Arthur, eyes bleary in the early morning.

Once realizing who was disturbing him at such an early hour, Gaius opened the door wider, asking "Prince Arthur, is someone ill; am I needed at th-?"

Arthur firmly interrupted him. "I need to talk to Merlin. Where is he?" Then, seeing his rudeness, added curtly, "Sorry."

Gaius seemed taken aback slightly, but replied, "I'll get him for you; he had a late night so he must be still sleeping. Why don't you come in?"

Arthur obeyed, Gaius closing the door behind him. Gaius started an oil lamp and went off to fetch Merlin. Meanwhile, Arthur was rehearsing the things he would ask Merlin. He just needed to make sure that Merlin was fine.

But when Gaius remerged holding a parchment, Arthur's heart fell, seeing as Merlin was not following Gaius.

"Well, where is Merlin?" Arthur hissed, letting his fear manifest as anger.

Gaius looked crestfallen and shocked, handing the parchment over to Arthur, speaking in a tiny voice, "He left this." The peace that Merlin tried to leave for Gaius had been broken. Gaius knew what Merlin had done.

Arthur read Merlin's message, heart pounding, and eyes seared to the paper.

_Gaius,_

_Sorry, I had to do this for Arthur. My life for his. Don't try to stop me; it's probably too late, anyway. Please, take care of my mother. Tell her it was part of my destiny. Make sure to keep an eye out for Arthur. Arthur has a destiny, too, and a better one at that, but it seems to attract a lot of trouble. He will be a great king someday. Just see to it that he's less of a prat. Take care._

_Merlin_

Arthur stared at the page for a moment longer then slightly moaned, "Merlin, you stupid idiot, why did you do that?"

Gaius was frantically scouring his collection of papers, books, and maps, looking for some hint of Merlin's destination, "You know Merlin; that boy takes better care of you than he does himself. Now the question is, how do we stop him?"

Arthur reread Merlin's letter, "'My life for his.' Isn't that some kind of Old Magic?"

Gaius turned to face Arthur, pausing, then phrasing his words cautiously, "Merlin would not hesitate to save you through magic; he's a good lad who only does what he believes to be the right thing."

Arthur was taken aback by this revelation. Merlin always seemed to put him neck out for Arthur, but putting it like that... he seemed to really owe Merlin a lot.

Gaius continued, "If Merlin has traded his life for yours, I know of the one place he may have gone. It is where he got the cure for your wound. The Isle of the Blessed was rumored to be a place where life can be bought with a price. Merlin must have returned to-"

"Well, what are we waiting for," Arthur burst, "Merlin could be dying already. I can't let him do that. Not for me."

Arthur spun back to the door, opening it in a flurry. Behind him, Gaius called out, "I know I have the location of the Isle of the Blessed somewhere. I will find it. Meanwhile, tell your father what has happened. You're still hurt, but perhaps he will let you come."

Arthur turned back around to face Gaius. With a dangerous look in his eyes and a steely voice, Arthur muttered darkly, "I don't need my father's permission for this. I'm going." With that, he left for the stables.

----------

Arthur reached the stables and was surprised to see Morgana and Gwen there waiting.

Morgana called out to Arthur, "Have you seen Merlin? Do you know if he's alright?"

Arthur was not amazed that Morgana already seemed to know what was going on. She was perceptive in that way.

"Merlin's gone. He left for the Isle of the Blessed," Arthur stated dully as he went for a horse.

"Oh gods, we might be too late. Lady Morgana had a dream that Merlin was de..." Gwen trailed off, seeing the pain in Arthur's eyes.

Morgana spoke up, "Are you going after him?" She knew that Arthur would never admit how much he cared for Merlin until it was too late.

Arthur saddled a horse, turning back briefly to the two women, "Yes, I owe him that and much more."

Morgana and Gwen turned to each other, exchanging identical knowing looks, then stepped closer to Arthur. "Arthur," Morgana began gently, "we want to come too. Our horses are ready; we even have one ready for Gaius. We want to help."

"No," Arthur stated firmly as he reached over, grabbing a stray sword that Merlin had probably forgotten to return to the armory, "It's going to be dangerous." Arthur then realized he would need to use both arms to mount, and he removed his injured arm from its sling and already the throbbing pain increased, and when he swiftly mounted his horse, he painfully jolted his injured shoulder. Apparently his face registered the pain.

Morgana's voice of reason drifted to him, "So, somehow, Prince Arthur, the One-Armed Prat, is going to rescue his manservant from certain death. Come on Arthur, you need our help."

Seeing there was no way out of this without wasting more time that Merlin didn't have, Arthur quickly resigned, "Fine, just hurry, and get Gaius. We need to leave now."

Morgana and Gwen mounted their horses just as Gaius appeared clutching a large burlap bag and panting for air.

Arthur called down to him from his horse, "Do you have the location?" Gaius nodded, mounting the horse that Gwen and Morgana had prepared for him. "Good," Arthur continued, "you can lead us, just make sure that we get there in time."

So, they raced out into the brisk morning air, but Arthur could only feel guilt and gloom, as he was unable to banish from his mind the image of his dearest and only true friend, Merlin, already dead or dying.

Merlin had saved his life more than once, and Arthur knew that; if he couldn't save Merlin this time, Arthur knew he would never forgive himself.

----------

Merlin never truly appreciated the subtle beauty of the island. The way that the magic seemed to give it life, infusing the substance of the fallen structures so as to make them glorious again. Yesterday, on his first visit, he didn't notice it, but today, it was all he could really notice.

Nimueh looked at Merlin curiously one last time, "Are you ready to die, Merlin?"

Merlin slowly tore his eyes away from the scene around him and steadily stated, "For Arthur, I will give my life."

However, as Nimueh's voice twisted words and cast their potency, he wasn't paying attention. Merlin had spotted a single white flower in the corner of his eye. He focused on the flower's purity and its perfect glory, so as the world faded to black for him and his knees gave way, his last coherent thoughts were how the flower was a lot like Arthur and how he wished Arthur could be with him here, at the end of all things.

**A/N:** Oh nooes! A cliffie! Kinda..... Comment/review to find out what happens to Merlin. MUHAHAHA!

Also, this is where I really need feedback. I know how it's going to end and everything, but I need you guys to help me for chapter 5. Is there anything you guys want to see in the story? I think I can either rush to action-y stuff, or I can squeeze in a really sad, romantic chapter. What do you guys want?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** insert disclaimer here So, will Arthur make it in time to save Merlin, or will he be too late?

**A Price Paid**

Arthur and Gaius had left their horses on the shore, leaving Morgana and Gwen as well. They had wanted to come with Gaius and Arthur, but the boat was barely large enough for two and they needed someone who could go back to Camelot for help if they didn't return.

Crossing the water was surprisingly swift, but for Arthur, it seemed to last an eternity. Gaius, too seemed uncomfortable, and when he ventured to speak, his voice was cracking with despair. "This is all my fault. I knew that Merlin had given your life back to you with magic, and as for the life in exchange, I had a feeling he had offered his own, but I didn't stop him, I couldn't save him."

Arthur felt his own voice catch as he stopped Gaius from continuing, "Don't talk like that. He's not gone yet. He can't be. We can't give up now. I - we can still save him." His voice had wobbled at the end a bit as emotion began to overwhelm him and Arthur didn't think he could speak anymore, so they continued on in silence.

As soon as the Isle came into sight a feeling of dread rose up in Arthur even greater than before. The mists seemed to weigh down in his chest and created an eeriness that made Arthur's blood run cold. The nearer the boat crept to the island, the more Arthur felt afraid for what he would find.

As the boat pulled up to an opening in the ruins, Arthur yelled out desperately, "Merlin! Merlin! We're coming. Don't do it! Don't leave me!" The minute the boat steadied, Arthur leaped onto the solid ground, drawing his sword furiously. "Merlin! Where are you?"

Arthur fearlessly ran forward, and as the ruins opened up, though the mists he saw a woman in a fleeting moment. With a jolt, he vaguely recalled her as the one who had left him to die in the caves. Now she was involved in taking Merlin's life- no, not if Arthur had anything to say, and he definitely did. "YOU! If you've done anything to him... if you have so much as hurt a single hair on Merlin's head, I will kill you myself! Where is he?"

The woman smirked malevolently, and turned her head to Arthur's left. Arthur's eyes followed her direction, and Arthur felt his heart shatter as he saw the familiar figure lying on the ground. It was Merlin.

Arthur turned back to the woman, just catching her disappearing. Arthur screamed, brandishing his sword, his voice full of wrath, "No! You'll pay for this, if it's the last thing I do." But, not now, because Merlin needed him now and Arthur had already let him down enough for one day.

Arthur threw down his sword and ran towards his fallen friend, hearing Gaius hurrying behind him. Arthur collapsed to his knees beside Merlin's still body and gently grabbed Merlin's hand. With his other hand, he shook Merlin's shoulder softly. Arthur whispered urgently down to Merlin with a wry smile plastered on his face, "Merlin, come on, we have to go now. I already have some chores I need you to do when we get back. Please, I was only joking about you being the worst manservant ever," Arthur's voice and facade was cracking as Arthur's desperation became less controlled, letting his feelings seep, "Come on, you're my closest friend. You know that. I don't know what to do. Please," Arthur began shaking Merlin harder and more desperately, "please, come on, don't be dead, please." He was too late. Arthur stopped shaking Merlin, but did not let go of him.

Gaius crouched down cautiously on the other side of Merlin. Arthur's head rose to face Gaius, and Gaius was shocked to see Arthur, the brave and brash prince, on the verge of tears.

Arthur began softly and faintly, "He's cold and..." He tightened his jaw, then, with a commanding voice, Arthur boomed, "Heal him. Put me in his place. Anything. Just find out what she did and reverse it." He returned to look at Merlin's paler face, in his mind, trying to wish him back to life, back to questioning Arthur, back to dressing Arthur, back to insulting Arthur, back to everything that Arthur needed.

Gaius felt for Merlin's throat seeking for the pulse that he knew could not still be there. "Arthur, he's been dead for a while. There's nothing I can do. I can't do this kind of magic, even if I knew how. The only one who can is Nimueh, that woman you saw. And I don't even think it can be done with someone who is already..." his voice trailed off, but he regained his voice, "Sire, he's dead. There's nothing to be done." Gaius struggled to blink back his tears.

Arthur looked sharply back up at Gaius, "We're not giving up. I won't leave him here. Never."

Gaius knew there would be no arguing with the Crown Prince. "Then, let's take him back to Camelot, we can try sending out knights to search for Nimueh. Perhaps your father can convince her to switch Merlin's life, but not for yours. You're the future of Camelot," Gaius paused, but he had made up his mind, "I will offer my life. I'm not long for this world anyway," he stated, but decided it would be best to leave now for Camelot to get there by nightfall, continued briskly, "Let's get him to the boat."

Gaius reached to help carry Merlin, but Arthur leaned protectively over Merlin, "I'll carry him. It's my fault he's here."

Gaius retracted his arms and watched with tenderness in his heart as he saw Arthur struggling to lift Merlin in his arms while ignoring his grievously wounded shoulder. He had never seen Arthur so sensitive or emotional over anything before. He always knew that Arthur cared more about Merlin than he let on, but it was heartbreaking to see just how deep his feelings ran.

----------

On the now very cramped boat ride back to shore, Arthur still held Merlin tightly, as though letting him go would be giving up. Gaius looked away from the both away, trying not to stare at the prince for his lack of inhibition and his surrogate son's dead body. Gaius felt that the chances that Nimueh would help them were slimmest to none, and even if she would help them, he strongly doubted that she actually could, as there weren't many accounts of people coming back to life. Gaius felt more tears creeping up to his eyes as he thought more of Merlin. The sweetest, most gentle boy he had ever met. One with exceptional gifts and powers, but had chosen to use them for good, to help protect Arthur, the price who had been a brat until he and Merlin met. Merlin, the boy whose very smiles and laughter were contagious and his courage and selflessness were unlimited. His heart had been so large and his caring knew no boundaries, and here it was, no longer beating, because Merlin had been too courageous, too selfless, too loving, and too caring. Gaius let a few more tears fall as he imagined the unhappy and hopeless hell he would have to endure without Merlin to brighten his life. Gaius knew if there were any realistic chance to save Merlin, he would take it without hesitation, even if it meant his death, for, what was life now without Merlin in it?

Gaius was interrupted from his grief as he heard Arthur's voice, once strong, now feeble and shaking, whispering just at the audible level, "Merlin, don't leave me. Not yet. I lo-" he faltered, then, "I need you." Gaius' eyebrow lifted at this, but otherwise, he tried not to pointedly notice Arthur's heartbreak.

Gaius also tried not to notice that Arthur was still holding Merlin's hand.

----------

The moment they spotted the shore through the thinning mists, Morgana and Gwen could see they had been too late. Gwen began weeping slowly as she knelt to the ground. Morgana did her best to comfort her most cherished friend, kneeling with Gwen to hold her in her comforting arms.

"Gwen, it'll be alright. It's still not over. Shhh. We need to be strong," Morgana whispered, however, even as she said this, she felt her own eyes getting teary. Morgana, though she did not show it completely, felt completely grieved and afraid as she recalled how she had seen Merlin's death in her dreams the last couple of nights.

The boat reached the dock, but Arthur was already hoisting Merlin out in his arms. Gaius climbed out of the boat and help Morgana guide Gwen's shaking body back to her horse. Arthur said nothing as he walked to his horse heaving Merlin gently onto the horse's back. Arthur was forcing back tears as Merlin's body slumped forward, draping the horse's neck.

Arthur looked back at Gwen, Gaius, and Morgana. Gwen was taking deep breaths trying to calm herself down, and while Morgana was rubbing circles on Gwen's back, she was exchanging strange looks with Gaius.

Noticing Arthur's staring, they moved immediately to their horses and mounted quickly. Morgana, Gwen, and Gaius watched as Arthur mounted his horse and sat behind Merlin. With one arm, Arthur was holding his horse's reins, and with the other he wrapped around Merlin's waist, propping Merlin's body against his own, so that he almost looked as if he was sleeping and not dead.

Catching everyone's glances of sympathy, Arthur lifted his face away from his fallen friend, and called out softly, "Don't worry, I can save him again. If this was one of us, Merlin would not have given up so easily."

They did not dare say anything that disagreed. Not only was it true, but also it was not a good idea to provoke Arthur when he was in these kinds of moods.

Arthur clicked his heels, signaling his horse to go, and led the group back to Camelot.

Throughout the ride, Arthur would occasionally hoist Merlin closer towards himself, gently whispering reassuring and promises into Merlin's ears, which could no longer hear Arthur.

Again, no one was commenting on the fact that Arthur was holding Merlin's hand.

**A/N:** So, did anyone see that coming? I hope it was a little surprising. Thanks for the feedback. I think I have the rest of the story mapped out, but it will take a little longer to finish. Be patient please.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I am SO sorry about the awful wait. It was torture for me as well. Anyway, school was out again and that means it's time for fanfic writing... YAY! Thanks for the feedback. I now think I have the rest of this story ready. Anyway, I hope this LONG chapter is enough for now. There's a quick recap because I always hate having to reread to remember plot.

So, without further ado... insert disclaimer here

Previously: Merlin exchanges his life for Arthur's. Only, this time Nimueh actually kills him. Arthur, at that instant, knows something is wrong and goes off after Merlin with Gwen, Morgana, and Gaius. But, they are too late and Arthur wants to bring Merlin back to Camelot and find Nimueh to restore his life. That about sums up the story so far... Oh, yeah... Merlin and Arthur deal with 'feelings.'

**A Price Paid**

The golden sunlight was warm and gentle as it swelled upon the anxious and mourning riders. It touched every blade of grass and beat upon every mountain. The light broke through the scarce clouds and glanced off of every single river, creek, and lake. However, the sun was not shining for Arthur.

To Arthur, the sun glared at him with reproach and disapproval. The sun beat down upon him and made him dizzy with heat. To Arthur, the sun could do nothing to bring him peace or comfort. Worst of all, the sun's warmth only made the cold of Merlin's body that much more noticeable...

In fact, it was not only the sun that seemed to torment Arthur. The fact that Gwen and Morgana were trying so very hard not to let on that they were watching Arthur holding Merlin's body whenever they thought Arthur wasn't watching was making Arthur sick and self-conscious. It was also the way that Gaius was riding ahead of the group, shoulders hunched and head set looking forward. Gaius never seemed to look at the dead body of the boy he called his son, but what crushed Arthur was that even at their distance, he could see Gaius shuddering in silent, occasional sobs.

Lastly, the fact that he was holding a dead young man in his arms seemed to tear Arthur's heart apart. Especially the fact that that man was his servant - _his_ Merlin. 'And it's all my fault,' Arthur thought bitterly.

Every time Merlin's unresponsive and limp body flopped to one side, Arthur felt like he was falling in a dark abyss of no return. Every time Arthur thought for a second that Merlin could just be sleeping and squeezed Merlin's hand gently as if to wake him, the monumental horror would grip him once more, as he felt no returning squeeze. Every time there was sound, however slight, Arthur would jolt and look at Merlin, just hoping, just hoping that his friend would sit up and tease and laugh at Arthur's obvious weakness.

But Merlin would never laugh again... 'NO!' he screamed in his head. 'I can't think like that. There must be something... we will find Nimueh, and...'

His thoughts were an uneasy reassurance.

Despite all of his reasoning, Arthur still felt completely responsible for Merlin's dea-

The prince was accustomed to witnessing death, even those of his fellow knights and friends. He had fought in situations where he had been the only survivor and all else were left slaughtered around him. Arthur had even watched as knights laid down their lives for him. Hell, he had even killed men before. Without a doubt, Arthur should have been unaffected by death, even by the death of someone near to him.

But it was _Merlin_... It could have been anyone, but not Merlin. Merlin was untouchable. To harm Merlin would be unforgivable. But Arthur had let Merlin be killed, like a sacrifice for some malevolent god.

Even worse, as Arthur went over it in his mind, he realized Merlin knew what was going to happen and everything that happened the previous night was Merlin saying goodbye. Arthur's mind foggily drifted to the events of last night, but so much had happened since; it seemed almost weeks ago.

The thing that struck Arthur was that he had known something was wrong when Merlin didn't really smile. His solemn nature had scared and confused Arthur, yet he did and said nothing as Merlin left. In fact, on more than one occasion, he had said some particularly rude and pratty things to Merlin. 'Oh Gods,' Arthur flinched, 'What if he left thinking I didn't care about him?' This thought scarred Arthur more deeply than a lot of other issues, as Arthur was only now realizing the true depth of his affections for Merlin.

----------

As the journey slugged on, Arthur never let on these burdens that filled his mind and soul. However, Morgana and Gwen knew that Arthur was suffering more than he let on. They watched out of the corners of their eyes as Arthur forced his eyes away from his beloved friend and servant. They saw as Arthur chin trembled under the sheer strain of trying so hard not to cry. They couldn't help but notice how Arthur would suddenly seem to jolt as if he had heard or realized something, and then he would seem to remember what had happened and who was dead in his arms. And every time Arthur squeezed Merlin's hand tragically attempting to wake his not-sleeping friend, tears would form in Gwen and Morgana's sympathizing eyes. Arthur was clearly hurting more than he let on and his physical impediments were slowly taking their toll on Arthur.

Gwen exchanged worried looks with Morgana noticing how feverish and listless Arthur's gaunt face had grown. Morgana had noticed, too, and also noticed that Arthur was biting his lip painfully and cringing as his horse jarred his pained shoulder every gallop it made. Arthur couldn't even hide his exhaustion as his grip on Merlin was slowly slackening and Arthur was struggling to keep his eyes open. Morgana realized with a shudder of fear that Arthur was going to push himself to the brink of death and even further, if they didn't act now.

Morgana twisted reigns of her horse forcefully to the right so that her horse crossed in front of Arthur's horse. Arthur jolted and quickly yanked back on his horse's reigns to avoid Morgana's sudden turn. Gwen realized what Morgana was doing and instantly circled her horse to block Arthur's other side. Gaius slowly turned his own horse around to watch the confrontation. Arthur caught Gaius furiously wiping tear tracks from his pallid wrinkles and taking steadying breaths to compose himself.

Arthur kept his bloodshot eyes focused ahead and did not acknowledge Morgana and Gwen's blockade. The girls exchanged more significant looks as they were blatantly ignored. Morgana was the first to break the relative impasse, "Arthur, we think that we need to stop now, rethink thi-"

Arthur's voice came out sharp and dangerous, "No. We need to get to Camelot before nightfall."

"No," Morgana snapped, "Arthur, you need to stop for a while. Rest for a while. Calm down. Meanwhile Gwen and I can ride ahead to Camelot and send out knights looking for this Nimueh."

"I said no!" Arthur screamed.

"Arthur, you know that if you bring Merlin like this to your father, he probably won't give a damn that he's dead." Morgana gave a quick look to Gwen for reassurance. "If we go ahead, we can tell Uther that Nimueh lured you into a trap. That would give him some incentive to find that sorceress."

Arthur wasn't listening to Morgana's reasoning, "I don't care what my father thinks. Damn it! I've already failed Merlin once. I can't stand by and do it again!" Arthur dropped his eyes ashamedly.

Gwen moved towards Arthur, and slowly reached her arm out to Arthur's shoulder. He roughly brushed her touch away and dropped his face even more. Gwen tried again and this time, Arthur accepted Gwen's comfort. Gwen spoke softly, "Arthur, we'll make sure that by the time you get to Camelot, everyone is out looking for that wretched witch. But in the meanwhile, you need to stop and rest for a while. Even the mightiest among us need to rest. If you ride any longer, you'll surely topple off your horse. Please, Arthur," Gwen paused, looking around at Morgana and Gaius for support, "we're all worried about you."

Gaius took a bold step toward Arthur, "They're both right, sire. Merlin would not have wanted you to suffer for his sake. I will stay with you as you rest. I need to change you bandages anyway."

Arthur made to protest, but Gaius stepped closer and softly stated, "Please, don't take Merlin's sacrifice for granted."

Arthur's jaw closed as it really begun to sink in. Merlin had given _his_ _own _life for Arthur's. If not for Merlin's sacrifice, he wouldn't be alive. It was not thanks to Gaius. It was thanks to Merlin. Arthur a rush of sorrow and remorse at this thought, as well as another feeling that seared his heart and soul.

He didn't deserve such devotion from such a self-less boy. If anything, it was Merlin who deserved Arthur's dedication and service. Arthur thought back at all the times he had mistreated and ignored Merlin's well-being, pride, and feelings. After enduring all of Arthur's torment, Merlin had still given his life so that Arthur life to die another day. Arthur felt a slight tinge of guilt as he felt unworthy of Merlin's sacrifice, but suddenly felt himself aligning with the others' reasoning. Somehow, it felt as if Merlin was really there with him. Arthur could almost see the his mystifying servant beside him, looking into Arthur with those innocent and pure eyes and telling him with that soft and tender voice to not be a prat.

Realizing with a start that he had not replied to the plan, he turned his head back to face Gaius and gave a curt nod, then slowly, turned his head and stared at Merlin's body slumped over the horse's neck. Meanwhile, Gaius gave a nod to Morgana and Gwen, who had been whispering concertedly amongst themselves, as Gwen had started crying again. They caught Gaius' signal and quickly jumped back on their horses and rode like lightning back to Camelot.

Gaius turned back around to look at Prince Arthur, but the heartbreaking sight that greeted him felt too intimate to intrude on, even just by watching. So, Gaius turned back to his horse, grabbed its reigns, and slowly led it to a nearby tree. He quickly tied the reigns to a tree branch and began easing himself down into a reclining position against the tree. Finally, Gaius took a breath, and began freely sobbing for the buy he had called his son.

----------

Prince Arthur, looking at Merlin, felt a need to hold him and talk to him now as the friend he could only now come to terms with his importance. Arthur needed to tell Merlin everything he had never said before, to thank Merlin, to ask Merlin why he did it, and to hope that somehow, Merlin could hear his confessions.

Arthur reached out tentatively with both arms toward Merlin. The instant his hand touched Merlin's, Arthur felt an immediate spark of connection and what Arthur could only describe as magic. The shock and sensory overload sent a shiver down Arthur's spine.

Arthur reached further and wider so that his arms held Merlin strongly within them. Arthur braced himself for Merlin's weight, but felt even more empty at how little Merlin was. Arthur had looked at Merlin almost everyday for almost a year, but only now did it strike Arthur how skinny Merlin was. A pang of remorse reverberated in Arthur's heart as he imagined his manservant carrying plates upon plates of food to his chambers, but all the while Merlin would probably come home after a long, tiring day to Gaius and a couple of scraps for dinner. Now, finally, in Merlin's lifelessness, Arthur could actually feel how little he cared for his servant - no - his friend.

Arthur sensed Gaius watching, so he bit his lip and steadied his ready tears at this new guilt as he carried Merlin to the nearby trees, near the tree where Gaius was now sobbing. Arthur felt his own heart wearily tug at Gaius' pain, but was so crushed at this point, Arthur felt as if there was nothing that could overshadow his own loss at this moment.

Arthur's loyal horse followed him to the trees and Arthur felt a sliver of comfort at seeing his animal's concern. With a shudder, he realized the horse reminded him of Merlin, and just like that, Arthur's grief redoubled over the cold and limp body in his arms. Arthur reluctantly laid Merlin down on the cool grass, shocked at how peaceful Merlin looked. Arthur slowly backed up against the adjacent oak tree and slid down the trunk so he was kneeling looking over Merlin's body.

Arthur took a breath and before he realized what he was doing, he began speaking. "Merlin, you idiot!" He choked a bit near the end, but continued, his voice softer, "What did you do? How could you just leave?"

Arthur had to regain his composure with several deep breaths, but began again, "Merlin, I was not worth your life. I'm just a prat; you've said so more than once. I've made your life hell, and you still gave your life for me, as well as other times where you risked your life in my name."

Arthur frowned as he recalled, "I remember when you drank that poison for me and nearly died. For the first time in my life, I was scared that there was a chance I could wake up and you might not be there." Arthur voice caught, "No one has ever made me feel like that. Merlin, I needed you. And when I drank Anhora's so-called poison, I was doing it because I couldn't bear to even imagine life without you."

"Now, it feels life half of me is missing, and I don't know how to live without you. Before you came along, I was so sure of everything. I knew exactly what was right and what was wrong. I thought I had everything figured out. With you in my life, I guess sometimes you were the only thing in my life I could be sure about." Arthur gave a forced laugh, "I guess there was something about you. I was too afraid to tell you before, but now..."

His shoulders, once so strong, heaved as Arthur lowered himself closer to Merlin. Arthur's voice tightened as he admitted to himself the depth of Merlin's impact, "I think - I think I - I love you. I need you. And I don't know what to do. Please, come back to me." Arthur's voice grew louder with desperation, "Tell me what I'm supposed to do! Merlin, Merlin, please. Please, I love you, Merlin, please." His tragic pleas became sobs as the futility of his confession became overwhelming. As Arthur collapsed on Merlin's chest, weeping, he felt a soft hand patting his back consolingly. Gaius, seeing the prince's distress and being unable to ignore his heartfelt confession, had silently hurried over, struck at Arthur's honesty.

Arthur moaned pathetically, his words slightly muffled as his was still sobbing on Merlin, "I loved him, Gaius, and I never told him."

Gaius bent down beside the prince and sorrowfully responded, "He cared a great deal for you, as well, sire." At this, Arthur only began to sob harder.

There, Arthur remained, crying until there were no more tears to shed. As his sobs faded, Arthur lifted his head and pointed his red, bloodshot eyes at Gaius, "Tell me how Merlin did it. I need to know so I can save him."

Gaius felt himself take a quick intake of air and realized that Arthur had to know now. "Sire," he began, "Before we start paying with lives, you need to know something."

Arthur was silent.

Gaius sighed, and let the secret out, "Merlin was a sorcerer; he used magic since before he arrived in Camelot.

He's still used magic, even right under your nose."

Arthur looked back at Merlin, and straightened out the wrinkles in Merlin's shirt where he had gripped while weeping. "No," he murmured in disbelief, "He can't - why wouldn't he - all this time - I trusted him!"

"Sire, Merlin's deepest wish was to tell you the truth, so you could know him for the real him." Arthur still looked at Merlin with a mixture of betrayal and confusion. "Arthur," Arthur turned his head to Gaius at the sound of his name, "please listen. For Merlin, his abilities were as much a part of his existence as royalty was for you. His powers were immense, greater than any I've seen before," Arthur looked back at his manservant, his moth agape and his eyes filled with amazement, "Sire, everyday he used his powers for good. He felt his duty was to you and you alone. If he ever used magic to hurt someone, it was only to protect you from those who would harm you or the king."

Arthur felt his initial frustration ebb away at hearing how much Merlin truly protected him. It started to make sense. Merlin _was_ magic. Arthur knew a part of him had always known this. This part of him knew that Merlin would never use his powers for evil. But still, the bigger part of him needed to know...

"Gaius, why did he never tell me?"

Gaius sighed and looked at the boy whose smile would haunt him for the rest of his days, "He wanted to. So many times. But, he wanted to be sure you would still trust him and accept him for it. He never wanted to put you in a position where you had to choose between him and obeying your father."

Arthur looked into Merlin's beyond pale face and slowly brushed the side of it with a nonchalant tenderness that stunned Gaius. Arthur whispered, "Merlin, you idiot. You could have told me. I would have protected your secret and still trust and accept you. Merlin, you're my dearest friend." Arthur paused. Still looking at Merlin, he spoke louder to reach Gaius, "I still love him. Is it possible he used magic to make me feel this way?"

Gaius sighed again and reached, putting a reassuring hand on Arthur's shoulder. "No. If it was magic, it would have stopped when he died. Merlin would still have protected you and given his life for you, even if you hated him. Your feelings are as real as they are strong."

Arthur nodded with this, knowing already in that same small part of him that his feelings were real. "Gaius, I can't give up on him. I owe him so much. I need to tell him what he means to me."

"Then you are sure about bringing him back?"

Arthur nodded, "I need him."

Gaius nodded in agreement, then cleared his throat, "And sire, you need to have your bandages changed. Then we'll resume to Camelot."

As Gaius reached for Arthur's injured shoulder, Arthur turned to meet the old man's eyes, "Thank you, Gaius."

Gaius smiled weakly and hoped that their plan worked, for Arthur's sake. After all, Merlin and Arthur had so much they had yet to do.

**A/N:** So yeah... that's my lame attempt at romance... FAIL! Honestly, this was the most difficult thing I have ever tried to write. Anyway, I hope it wasn't too crappy. Next chapter is kinda action-y-ish and will be up ASAP. Comment and review, please.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Thanks for all the comments. They make my day. Hope you enjoy... insert disclaimer here

**A Price Paid**

They could see the walls of Camelot by late evening. The ride home had been quiet, but not as tortuous as it had been before Arthur and Gaius stopped. Arthur was now preparing excuses he would have to give his father, but in his heart he felt dread as he feared his father's cruel indifference.

As the two horses and their riders came into view, the Camelot guards signaled for the gates to be opened. Various cries of "Sire!" and "Prince Arthur!" met his ears, but Arthur ignored them and held Merlin closer to him. Arthur and Gaius passed quickly through the Lower Grounds; his curious subjects all standing aside and showing reverence at their beloved prince, but looked on in shock and confusion as they realized who was riding with him.

Arthur heard the muttering and urgent voices that he left behind and knew that gossip and talk would spread, but he didn't care. As long as he brought Merlin home.

He reached the main square outside of the main castle where he was not surprised to see Gwen and Morgana waiting for him. Arthur swiftly dismounted his horse and turned to carry Merlin down from the horse.

Gaius had already dismounted his horse and handed the reigns to Gwen to return the horse to the stable, he called to Arthur, "I will go research any likely places Nimueh would be and ways we could find her." Arthur nodded. With that, Gaius turned and rushed to his chamber.

With Merlin now in Arthur's arms, Morgana took the reigns of Arthur's horse and made to follow Gwen to the stables, but paused and looked back at Arthur. She gazed intently at his exhausted features and dark eyes. Arthur felt thoroughly exposed, as Morgana seemed to look right through his facade. She shook her head softly and stated matter-of-factly, "You don't look much better."

Arthur shrugged his shoulders weakly.

There was a loud shudder as the front castle doors swung open as Uther ran out with relief etched on his face, "Arthur! Arthur, you're safe!" Two guards followed Uther.

Arthur looked back at Morgana, "So," he started, "I was kidnapped..."

Morgana blushed a little at her own deception, "Can you handle him?" Morgana jumped at almost any opportunity to resist Uther's control.

Arthur shook his head, "I have to do this alone, for him." He was looking back at Merlin in his arms and Morgana easily noticed the grim smile that flickered across Arthur's face.

Morgana nodded, then leaned over and kissed Arthur's cheek. Arthur, surprised, looked back up at Morgana, "It will be alright; all is not lost" she whispered, then as if reciting from a dream, she repeated what she told Merlin, "It won't be over." Without another word, Morgana turned and raced to the stables, horse in tow.

Arthur followed her path for a second, but turned back to his father racing down the stone steps, clearly euphoric over having his son back. Arthur knew the next part would be difficult, but knew it would happen eventually.

Uther reached Arthur and clapped him heartily on his uninjured shoulder, "Arthur, my son! You're safe! The sorceress? And who is that?" Uther was looking with distaste upon the body in Arthur's arms.

Outraged by his father's ignorance, Arthur burst incredulously, "This is Merlin! My best fr -" Arthur's voice caught on the word "friend," because it was not enough to convey his feelings for Merlin, but already too much for his father to accept, "manservant," Arthur finished lamely. Uther looked taken aback at Arthur's sudden outburst. Arthur took a breath and began explaining, "Father, I was not kidnapped." Uther's face contorted with confusion and anger, but Arthur attempted to calm him down. "However, that sorceress must be found."

"Why?" Uther exploded, "How can I know if she is a real threat or just another fictitious idea you and Morgana have created to get attention?" By this point, many peasants and citizens had gathered on the edges of the main square, having either followed Prince Arthur's desperate ride into the city, or had heard the commotion and rushed over.

Arthur prepared to get into a shouting match with his stubborn father, but looked down at Merlin and felt a calm wave rush through him. His voice replied, barely just above a whisper, "Because she killed him."

"What?" Uther hissed.

"Merlin gave his life for me to ensure my recovery from the Questing Beast bite, and Nimueh was only too glad to take it." Arthur lifted his eyes from Merlin and glared deep into his father's steely ones. "She must return his life. I will find someone to exchange lives with. All I know is that I cannot live without Merlin."

"Arthur, you're being ridiculous. Come inside and leave that body outside. The boy did his duty for Camelot. Now, come inside; you're making a scene." Uther was glancing at the hissing masses of subjects.

Arthur gripped Merlin tighter and stepped away out of his father's immediate reach. "No, father. You're the one being ridiculous. You don't understand what Merlin has done for me, for this kingdom. He deserves to live as much as I do. And yet you are so willing to toss him aside. Why? Because he's a servant? Because you couldn't bother otherwise?" Arthur, paused and went for it, "I could not become king without him by my side."

Uther was rendered temporarily speechless, "What is it about him that you care about so much?"

Arthur looked back down at Merlin's peaceful face and without realizing it, a small smile found a home on Arthur's face. He spoke to his father with confidence, but kept his eyes upon his beloved, "I think you know what it is... He is my other half. It is our... destiny." Arthur's smile widened at his auspicious declaration.

Uther was not smiling. He was practically fuming. Arthur would have found it humorous, had it not been for his father's next snarling statement, "You _must_ have been bewitched. To have feelings for this, this, boy! And a servant..." Although Uther's voice was only a disparaging hiss, the crowd collectively buzzed with new canards. Uther was now yelling, "I will not have it!" Uther turned back to his dumbfounded guards, "Guards! Bring the prince inside and dispose of the body."

Arthur jumped in alarm. They couldn't take Merlin away from him. They didn't understand. Without thinking or considering the consequences, Arthur drew his sword and pointed it at the approaching guards. The crowd gasped as one and Uther stared paralyzed at his son's anguish and tenacity. The guards, not daring to institute a fight or scene, withdrew and stood purposeless as Arthur raved, "Don't try to stop me. I will bring Merlin back if it's the last thing I do!" With that, Arthur ran forward, past his father and the guards. He bounded up the steps and halted for a moment by the open castle doors.

In that instant, the setting sun had sunk so low, that the square was now so very close to dark, save for a single ray of light. That last ray escaped over the edges of the castle turrets, towers, and walls in such a way that as Prince Arthur turned once last time back to his father and subjects, he was perfectly framed and illuminated by the light. To the eyes of Uther, the guards, and the other witnesses, Arthur and Merlin were the last bright things in the square. This instant seemed frozen in time for the briefest and most clear moment, but as Arthur rotated and ran inside, the last sunlight disappeared with the turning of the Earth.

As the crowd quickly dispersed, eager to make their way home in the grim twilight and disclose the unseemly news to others, Uther was left standing there, alone in the dark square with the irrelevant guards.

One of the guards spoke, "Sire, what should we-?"

Uther was shook out of whatever thought he was having and addressed the man, "Return to your stations and inform the remaining guards to keep their distance, but to still keep an eye on him. Make sure he does nothing rash." Sighing deeply, and wishing for guidance or a reassuring sign, Uther morosely returned to the castle, followed by the guards, who were suddenly much less jealous of the knights and other guards who had been sent to locate the sorceress responsible.

----------

Luckily Arthur encountered no more impediments in his way. Any passing guards who were close enough to realize he was the prince made an effort to stay clear. Whether it was orders to do so, or simply the deathly glare he would direct at anyone foolish to stand in his way, Arthur didn't know.

Soon he reached the corridor leading to his chambers and slowed to a walk as he entered his room. He had weighed the decision of where Merlin would rest while they searched for Nimueh. Arthur quickly reasoned that Merlin had earned the royal treatment of a king, but for the while, Arthur's own chambers would have to do. Thinking ahead, Arthur decided that when Merlin was restored, Arthur would ensure that Merlin would only receive the top-quality food, rooms, and clothes. No longer would Merlin starve, shiver, and work. At least, not if Arthur had any say in the matter. 'If - no - when Merlin gets brought back,' Arthur thought, 'he needs to see what he means to me.'

Smiling eerily, Arthur folded back the bed sheets of his bed and slowly, ever so slowly, laid Merlin down inside. Arthur quickly checked to see that Merlin's arms and legs would be comfortable. Then, as if Merlin truly was sleeping, Arthur gently tucked in his love. Arthur turned and grasped his desk-side chair and quietly moved it to the right of his - no - Merlin's bed.

Arthur collapsed upon the chair, and almost immediately he began tapping his foot and fingers impatiently, but suddenly, he was reminded of how impatient and anxious Merlin got with these types of waits. Arthur stopped tapping almost immediately and looked at Merlin, as if there was something missing.

Arthur stood up abruptly, promptly reaching down toward Merlin. He sensitively pulled Merlin's arm out of the covers and slipped it on top of the sheets. Pulling his own arm back and admiring Merlin again - even in death, he transfixed Arthur - Arthur grinned weakly with a small sense of accomplishment. He had brought Merlin home.

Arthur settled back into the chair and reached out once more, this time his hand met Merlin's. The cold thing that Arthur clasped devotedly would not return his affectionate squeezes. Arthur sighed and ached for Merlin. He missed the magic that touching Merlin always brought and missed the warmth that enveloped his soul whenever Merlin was near. Most of all, Arthur missed Merlin's bright and breathtaking blue eyes and the way they would look at him with so much life...

According to several of the patrolling guards, Arthur carried on like this all night long. The prince had stayed awake, one hand on his sword's hilt as a warning for those who thought to intervene, and his other hand eternally holding Merlin's own hand.

However, none of the guards saw when Prince Arthur bent forward and kissed Merlin's hand, whispering the words "I love you. Always and forever."

**A/N:** Yay! I really liked this chapter... How 'bout you? Since Crapter 5 didn't have a lot of the promised romance, I figured it fit here, sooo, yeah. Next chapter will get really freaky and angsty (I'm not kidding). Looking forward to writing it, so you should look forward to reading it. Anyway... comments and reviews fuel the crazy train that is my mind :D


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** So yeah, I said I would update Tuesday, and well, it's evident how that worked out. But hey, I am pretty proud of this chapter. But, I warned you, lotsa angst. Also, some necromantic behavior and mentions self-harm (all done by Arthur). VERY dark, so read at your own caution. insert disclaimer here

**A Price Paid**

That morning the sun did rise, but when it's rays reached Camelot, its light seemed in vain and false. The citizens of Camelot did not smile or laugh that day, with frightening rumors that their beloved prince was losing his mind with grief running more and more rampant as the day trudged on without any joy. Anxiety met almost every peasant and a feeling of dread stifled the air and permeated it with fear. Though the citizens tried to concentrate on their work and chores, many could not shake the ominous feeling about Arthur's well being.

Inside the castle walls, everything was as empty and artificial as the day's light. The day was spent denying that anything was other than business as usual. Every guard went out of their way to avoid the entire hall in which Arthur's chambers were located, and the lords of nobility were making plans to go out to the palace grounds. Every lady forced a smile and laughed without sincerity as they gossiped about everything _except_ Arthur. The servants of the royal house spent the day busying them with tasks and chores they had purposefully put off for another day; they also ignored the chores that involved Arthur and averted their eyes when they were forced to pass Arthur's chamber door.

With a scream, Morgana woke with a shuddering gasp, her eyes already weeping. Gwen's strained words of comfort did nothing to alleviate the terror that gripped Morgana as she replayed the images in her darkest nightmare. Merlin's dead body, Arthur looking deranged, Gwen crying as Arthur screamed, a dagger, quiet whispers, so much blood, but it was all a jumble. But the last image was burnt into her mind completely. The last thing she saw was Arthur, lying beside Merlin, with his wrists slit. Blood, blood everywhere, and that wicked smile on Arthur's face, even in death...

"NO!" Morgana yelled again, not caring how she must look to poor Gwen.

But Gwen just held Morgana's shuddering figure and made soothing shushing sounds in Morgana's ear, "Shhh... There, it was just a nightmare," Gwen placed a small, caring kiss in Morgana's hair, "Shh... shh... everything is fine."

----------

But everything was not fine on the other side of the castle. The night spent receiving increasingly upsetting reports from patrolling guards had only fueled the king's anger and horror. The idea that his son, Arthur, the Crown Prince of Camelot, was in love with a dead man, his bubbling manservant, no less, was disturbing to say the least. Uther had tried to be as patient and understanding as was possible about this predicament. He had noticed that Arthur had seen keen with the odd boy and he had heard that such attractions were passing things, merely a method of acting out.

After some consideration, Uther had relented slightly and allowed Arthur to be let alone until midday to grieve whatever loss there was to be felt. By then, Arthur would have had a chance to come to his senses; after all, there were harvest reports to review and remodeling to plan. At least, that had been the plan. However, Uther still felt unease at the circumstances, especially how Nimueh fit into all of this. He still had knights out searching for her and hopefully, she could be dealt with accordingly. After all, Uther was not done with the idea she had placed some sort of spell on his son.

Meanwhile, Uther prayed for strength, patience, and good judgment.

----------

Arthur lost track of time. Looking at Merlin and clasping his cold hand numbed his senses of all else. The last tie he had to reality was the dagger. He had to protect Merlin. He had to protect him until he could be saved. The dagger was there to remind him of what he would do if anyone tried to stop him from his duty - no - his destiny. Arthur thought it was funny how that word kept popping up in him mind when he looked at his manservant. He no longer felt shame at the strength of his feelings for this man. These last hours had provided Arthur with just the resolve he needed to face his insecurities and to just accept his feelings. Now, it was just a matter of time... His knights would find Nimueh and he would exchange his life for Merlin's.

Arthur bit his lip slightly as he imagined the tragic look that would cross Merlin's innocent face when he woke up and Arthur was not there. Arthur knew, at the least, that Merlin would miss him a little, but it pained Arthur to picture the possible torment Merlin might feel from Arthur's sacrifice. However, faced with the same feeling, Arthur felt a selfish desire for death rather than life without Merlin.

As a guard stumbling by his door brought Arthur out of his dark thoughts, he realized that he had lost his focus. Mentally berating himself, he tightened his grip on his friendly dagger and looked deeply at his friend. A shudder coursed through him as sunlight began to glance across Merlin. Now, Arthur could see how pale and sickly Merlin looked, such a contrast to what Arthur usually saw of Merlin at this hour. Usually, around this time, Merlin was bumbling into his chambers, struggling with the heavy door and the tray of Arthur's breakfast in the other. Another wry smile graced Arthur's lips as he recalled fondly how Merlin would make so much noise that if, on the off chance, Arthur was still sleeping, he would have been awakened immediately by the racket. As was the usual case, Arthur would already be awake and almost dressed. Arthur had never told Merlin how much he enjoyed this early morning company and had never even truly realized that Merlin was the first and last thing he saw and thought about each and every day. Feeling a sudden pang at his current grief, Arthur quickly leaned over above Merlin and pressed a quick kiss to the pale forehead. Arthur pulled back quickly, knowing in his heart that the kiss was a promise, more to himself than to Merlin, that everything will be all right.

Arthur smiled again, feeling again like Merlin could be only sleeping, he was a lazy sod after all. Leaning down again, Arthur whispered, "I hope one day you will realize how much I love you."

Arthur absent-mindedly brushed his hand through Merlin's dark fringe of hair, admiring how soft the skin was, and cursing himself for his sense of timing. A sudden glint in the sun directed Arthur's attention to the ring he himself always wore. Feeling a rush of adrenaline, Arthur pried the ring from his hand and gently slid it onto Merlin's finger. Pride rushed through him, "There," Arthur stated with conviction, "Proof that you're mine. Til' death do us part..." Arthur's voice caught. Death had parted them, but he would not yield nor let go, not for death, not for anyone.

----------

Midday came and went, and still no reprieve from his son's grief. Uther tried ignore the rising fear and worry from overwhelming him. It was no secret that members of the nobility and royal family often used their personal servants to alleviate certain frustrations. And it was fairly obvious that Arthur and his servant got on well enough, well enough that certain liberties could have been taken, but really, Uther couldn't explain the unnatural period of mourning. Liberties or not, there was no logic behind Arthur's hysterics. He son had dared hint of deeper feelings for this boy, but it couldn't actually be pure. Not like what he had felt with Ygraine. Perhaps it was all in the name for attention? Perhaps. Was it possible this was just delusion from Arthur's recent injury? Possible. Was sorcery to blame for any of this? Most likely. Uther felt his heart skip a beat as he imagined his son under the influence of a sinister sorcerer intent of causing pain and suffering.

Waiting no longer, Uther called for four guards to take the boy's body away and to escort Arthur to Gauis for a full check up. With sorcery as a suspect, one could never be too careful.

----------

Arthur had returned to his previous vigil on his bedside chair by the time the four guards arrived. Sir Leon, a newly knighted guard, moved forward first.

"Sire," he started, "we have received orders to take the body away and to escort you to..."

Arthur cut him off, his voice low and strangely eerie. All that time, Arthur kept his hand on his dagger and his eyes on the figure in his bed, "His name is Merlin."

Sir Leon looked slightly put off, but continued, "Yes," he hesitated, "we need to take Merlin away and escort you to the court physician."

"No."

The reply was so deadly soft that Sir Leon almost missed it, "Pardon, my liege?"

"No, you can't take him away," Arthur's grip on his dagger tightened, "I promised him..."

Sir Leon exchanged fearful looks with the other guards. He turned back to Arthur, who was still focused only on Merlin. Sir Leon began again, this time, more gently, "Sire, Merlin knows you tried your best, but it's too late. He can't stay here. What would people say?"

"Damn them all. I don't care what they think."

Sir Leon and another guard stepped further together until they were standing right behind Arthur's chair. Arthur's shoulders stiffened, but still he did not truly acknowledge the guards. The two guards exchanged more uncertain looks. After nodding his head slowly to the other guard, Sir Leon reached for Merlin. Then all hell broke loose.

Arthur snapped around, finally looking at the guards. Seeing their attempt to touch Merlin - _his_ Merlin - Arthur lunged for Sir Leon, dagger raised and ready. In a single sweep, Arthur twisted Sir Leon's arm around his back and placed the sharp edge of the dagger against his throat. The other guards moved forward, hands reaching for their sheathed swords, but as they did, Arthur applied more pressure to the dagger until a dribble of blood began to form. Analyzing the situation, the guards thought better and shuffled back with their hands removed from their weapons and cautious looks painted upon their faces.

"You will not touch Merlin!" Arthur roared, a wild and dangerous look in his eye that frightened the guards. Many had watched Arthur growing up and could never have pictured their beloved prince descending into such madness.

Arthur looked around, appraising each individual guard, and slowly, he growled, "Do I make myself clear?"

The guards could do nothing but reply "Yes sire" and hope that they controlled the fear in their voices.

Arthur released the dagger from Sir Leon's throat and threw him viciously across to the other guards. Arthur muttered, more to himself, "Good."

Sir Leon watched as Arthur turned to look back down over Merlin and an indescribable look crossed the future king's face. Trying to decipher the look, Sir Leon and the other guards almost missed the whisper. "Leave us."

The guards immediately stepped back to the door, but lingered slightly. Arthur sensed the continued presence and yelled, his voice mad with fury, "LEAVE US!" The guards scampered out, all except Sir Leon who hesitated slightly as he made his way out.

Sir Leon made to say something but, watching as Arthur collapsed back into his chair, reaching out to caress Merlin's stone cold hand, Sir Leon could only offer quietly, "I'm sorry for your loss." With that, he left, not wishing to see any more of this new, broken Prince Arthur.

Arthur made no reply, nor any sign that he heard the knight. Tracing patterns and swirls on Merlin's palm, Arthur bent over and brushed another kiss onto Merlin's hand. Whispering tenderly into Merlin's ears, Arthur began losing his sanity, "See Merlin. I won't let anyone take you. I will protect you. Like you've done for me all this time."

Arthur's mind wandered as he thought about the surprising lack of sting the revelation of Merlin's magic had brought. So many times he had suspected, but each time he had forced himself to the safe conclusion that he had gotten lucky or it was just a coincidence. Now, it almost gave him relief that it was all Merlin. It made so much sense, but at the same time it didn't. Arthur felt frustrated at Merlin, and even himself for being out of the loop for so long. How could _he_, the Prince of Camelot and prize knight, not notice his idiot manservant practicing magic? Why didn't Merlin tell him?

Arthur looked down at his fallen sorcerer looking for the answers he knew he wouldn't find. Arthur was still holding Merlin's hand as he murmured, "Merlin, I trusted you; I thought you trusted me as well."

Arthur wasn't truly mad at Merlin... How could he be? He loved Merlin, but knew that he had never really expressed anything other than annoyance and vague camaraderie with his servant. It was not surprising that Merlin feared that Arthur might not accept his lying and treason with open arms.

Arthur continued his soliloquy, ignoring the last remnants of his rational thinking, "You know Merlin, Gaius said you never wanted to put me in a difficult position about your magic. That's terribly noble of you, but then why did you have to g-" he voice caught embarrassingly, "go and get yourself ki-" Arthur stopped as he felt his heart clench painfully. A tear peeked out of the corner of his eye. Arthur bit his lip as he tried weakly to prevent its descent.

A small creak Arthur immediately identified as the door opening, snapped Arthur out of his sentimentality and into his vigilant and foreboding defensive mode. His grip on Merlin's hand tightened protectively and his other hand found his loyal dagger once more. However, the voice that greeted him was a gentle and familiar voice, still filled with trepidation, but was Gwen nonetheless.

"Arthur, Morgana is very concerned for you. We are both so sorry that Merlin is gone, but you can't do this to yourself."

Arthur ignored her, not realizing that he found her attempt at mothering him very annoying.

"Arthur, you need sleep - and food."

Her nagging was too much like Merlin trying to look out for him, it was just too...

"Do you think Merlin would have wanted this?"

Arthur exploded.

Leaping from his vigil, and letting go of Merlin, he twisted around and launched himself at the trembling maidservant. "No! That's just it. I don't know what Merlin would have wanted. He's gone to you, but I haven't given up!"

Gwen paled, but stood her ground, "You need to pull yourself together, Arthur Pendragon. You will be King one day, you cannot let this hurt you anymore than it must."

Not thinking, only guided by blind fury, Arthur slapped her. She cried out at the impact, but said no more.

Arthur looked down and muttered darkly, "You are just a servant and are out of line. Go now before I do something I will really regret." With that, Arthur crept back to his vigil beside Merlin. Gwen watched as he regained contact with Merlin's hand. She turned and quietly left.

Now it was evident how far gone Arthur was, and Gwen began to weep. She wept for the death of Merlin, the end of Arthur's sanity, and the doomed future of Camelot.

----------

Arthur knew he should be ashamed for his outburst, but he felt emptiness within him where the part of him that cared had died with Merlin. Still, he was not surprised to discover that there were still consequences for his viciousness. He had expected Morgana to burst in slightly later to let his guilt stew, but perhaps she too could sense that he was no longer the Arthur she had known.

Morgana's voice had a vindictive bite to it, and Arthur marveled at how she had managed to speak without yelling or hitting him. "How dare you."

Arthur said nothing, but remained beside Merlin, eyes trained upon Merlin's pale hand residing entwined with Arthur's own.

Morgana bit her lip and her voice softened, "Gwen was just trying to help you. Now she is completely beside herself."

Arthur said nothing.

Morgana appealed, "Gwen was Merlin's friend, too. We are all grieving."

Arthur said nothing.

Morgana's voice strained as she struggled to stay clam, "The whole castle is talking, Arthur, about what you've said and done."

Arthur said nothing.

A hysterical edge seeped into Morgana's voice as she tried vainly to elicit a reaction, anything, "They are all saying you are losing your mind from grief."

Arthur said nothing.

"I don't know what to think, Arthur. I'm just worried you'll do something rash. Tell me I need not worry," fear laced Morgana's words.

Arthur said nothing.

Morgana started weakly, her voice catching, "Arthur, I," Morgana gasped as she noticed the dagger in his hand. "Arthur," she begun quietly, "why do you have that dagger?"

Arthur said nothing.

"Answer me!" Morgana screamed.

Arthur said nothing.

Morgana could no longer take it, "Arthur! Please! Tell me you're going to be fine. Tell me you won't hurt yourself! Tell me!" She needed to know that he wasn't going to hurt himself, like in her nightmare.

Arthur said nothing.

Morgana began crying and she stepped closer to the man she considered her brother. She reached out a tentative hand to touch his shoulder. "Arthur," she begged. However, Arthur stiffened coldly as her hand touched him. Arthur turned his head slightly to meet Morgana's eyes, but still shrugged her touch away. Morgana pulled back, trying to regain a semblance of control.

She cleared her throat and began edging toward the door, "Fine! Waste away for all I care! Just watch me go. I don't care!"

Again, Arthur said nothing.

With that, Morgana could only fall into shuddering sobs as she ran back to her chambers, back to Gwen, for now, death had taken Arthur from her. Now, it was all so clear that the Arthur she knew was dead. He was just an empty shell of his former self.

----------

The door shut behind Morgana's tearful exit.

"Sorry about her, Merlin," Arthur started, "she is always such a pain."

"I don't know why she is always so worried about me. I can take care of myself... I am the Crown Prince after all," Arthur boasted.

Arthur laughed, "Well, I guess I also have the advantage of a certain guardian sorcerer."

"You know," Arthur reasoned, "she should actually worry about you more. I know I do."

"Shut up, _Mer_lin," he tried, "No need to get a big head."

"Yes, we should just clear things up once and for all," Arthur took a breath, "I think you know now that I care about you. I care about you a lot more than a servant. I lot more than a friend. Merlin, you mean a lot to me."

"You're not just saying that because I'm the Prince?" Arthur asked, his voice vulnerable.

Arthur burst into a smile, "_Mer_lin, you are such a girl!"

"Honestly, half the time, I don't know why I put up with you, much less love you," Arthur lightly teased.

A slight blush entered Arthur's cheeks, "Yes, you idiot. I said love."

"Why would I hate you?" Arthur queried.

"No, Gaius told me about your secret." Arthur grabbed Merlin's hand reassuringly, "No, don't worry, I understand why you never told me."

Arthur playfully tapped the tip of Merlin's nose, "You can be so noble sometimes, you could give Lancelot a run for his money."

"Of course I will keep your secret," Arthur stated with devotion, "After all, I seem to owe you quite a lot."

"Or, if you want, I could repay in other ways," Arthur trailed off seductively.

"Hey, we don't have to rush," Arthur murmured soothingly, "I said always and forever, didn't I?"

"But I mean it, Merlin." Arthur leaned over and gave Merlin a deep kiss. Arthur ignored Merlin's cold lips and body, unseeing eyes, unhearing ears, and unbeating heart as he climbed beside Merlin on his bed. There, Arthur lay, arms around his deceased servant, unaware that anyone had witnessed Arthur's manic declarations to a dead man.

Meanwhile, King Uther Pendragon stepped back from the ajar door, and for the first time in his life, he did not know what to do.

**A/N:** Yay for a cliffy! What will Uther do? I will just say for the record, dark!Arthur was very difficult to write. Difficult and creepy. Also, Arthur's actions with Gwen and Morgana were, in my mind, the perfect way to hurt the girls (yelling at Gwen, ignoring Morgana). Lastly, the last part is all Arthur's insanity, as if Merlin was still alive and Arthur was actually having a conversation with him (you can almost imagine Merlin's responses). So, please tell me what you guys think. Comments make my day.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** This is a very Uther-centric chapter, but I think you'll enjoy it (there's a bit of a twist). Oh, I thought this chap and the next one were originally both too short, so I ended up combining them here, hope no one minds. Oh yeah, and warning, mentioning of slash (don't like, don't read) as well as mentioning of self-harm… insert disclaimer here

**A Price Paid**

Uther quietly walked back down the halls of his castle, feeling a numbness and loneliness he hadn't felt since Ygraine had passed away. His son had been in love with his manservant. The shock has somewhat softened by his suspicions, but still, the confirmation was a sure blow. Arthur's grief was obviously weakening his mental capacities, Uther noted. After all, he had deluded himself into thinking his manservant was still alive and conversing with him. Uther shuddered to consider the gossip had a servant or passing court member witnessed this horrifying madness. Skeletons in Arthur's closet, indeed.

Uther shook his head softly, wishing he had someone to talk to, someone who would tell Uther what to do. If only Ygraine was here… But she was gone… thanks to Nimueh. And here was Uther, having to pretend he was fine and that he could deal with this. But in reality, Uther didn't think he could deal with this. What was he supposed to do? If Arthur really was this delusional, he could not be fit for the throne. Would Uther have to execute Arthur? Surely not! But if anyone found out… the council… they would make Uther imprison Arthur for life… and if they learned of his affections for the servant boy… Uther shook his head harder. No, he would have to keep this quiet until he had figured out what was to be done with Arthur.

Uther had been so engrossed in his worries, he hadn't been paying attention to where he was going and had completely walked into someone.

Looking up he was the gaunt and sagging face of Gaius. Uther felt a pang of guilt seeing the red eyes of his old mentor. He had forgotten how close Gaius had been to the foolish servant boy.

"Gaius, I apologize. I was not looking where I was going." Uther weakly offered.

Gaius struggled for a second, and then, with his voice hoarse and strained, he simply replied, "Yes, excuse me sire."

Gaius then turned to leave, but Uther reached for Gaius' arm, stopping him. "Gaius, wait. I am sorry for your loss. I know you were close to the boy."

Gaius turned his head to face Uther, but Uther was surprised to see fury in his eyes. "His name was Merlin, _sire_!" Gaius shouted, his voice no longer weak. "And you are not sorry about it. You only regret that Merlin's death has caused so many problems for you."

Uther had not been expecting this bitter and vengeful attitude from benign and wise Gaius. He tried to calm down the clearly bereaved man, "Gaius, that's not true. I'm doing everything in my power to honor Merlin's sacrifice. Nimueh will pay for his death."

"No!" Gaius roared, "You will make her pay for Ygraine's death. It's always been about her. If the laws of magic had chosen another in her place to die, you never would have persecuted magic. You are still trying to have your revenge for something that was partly your fault!"

Uther was having none of this. Gaius was out of line. "How dare you!" Uther growled.

"How dare I?" Gaius asked, incredulously, "How dare you! I've been silent for much too long. You blame magic for so much wrong that you will be blind to see how much good it has done for you! Do you forget that magic is what gave you your son, Arthur? Or do you wish you still had Ygraine?"

"No! You know I love Arthur. He is still my son! Do you not see how much I try to protect him from magic?"

"And yet all this time, magic has kept Arthur safer than you ever had."

Uther faltered at this treasonous statement. Had Gaius continued practicing magic in private? "What are you saying, Gaius? Have you not told me something?"

Gaius sighed, and started. "I no longer fear my punishment, as I have nothing to live for anymore, and it's time you've learned why you should be sorry Merlin is dead. Merlin was a sorcerer, possibly the most powerful sorcerer of all time."

Uther felt his jaw tighten. Of course. This explained everything. The servant boy had snuck his way into the royal household and enchanted his way into Arthur's affections. He was likely in league with Nimueh, working together to bring the Pendragon house down. And Gaius had known…

"You! You harbored this evil and kept it secret. Give me a reason why you shouldn't be executed in the morning." Uther threatened, advancing towards the traitor.

Gaius looked smugly at the king and simply stated, "Because Merlin was the only thing keeping you and Arthur alive and the kingdom safe."

Seeing Uther face and confusion, he continued, "Merlin was born with his incredible abilities, as well as a prophecy. His destiny was to protect Arthur, the Once and Future King of Camelot, with Merlin's life, if necessary. Together, they would unite the lands of Albion and bring an era of peace and prosperity to the kingdom. And since arriving in Camelot, Merlin has used his magic toward that goal. On occasion, he has also saved your life, though your continued existence is the one thing that prevented Merlin from his true destiny with Arthur."

"But don't you see, old man? That confounded sorcerer must have enchanted his way into Arthur's affections, for he is delusional with grief." Uther was seething with anguish.

Gaius looked with pity on Uther, "Sire, Merlin loved Arthur and Arthur loved Merlin. There was no spell. We might not understand how they could love each other, but I know in my heart that it was true love."

Uther opened his mouth, as if he had some further argument in him, but found his voice had failed him. All he managed was the callous retort, "The boy's magic is probably what got him killed."

Gaius' voice hardened and stung like a whip, "His name is Merlin, and you will wish he hadn't given his life before the end. Your son is going mad. It's all around the castle. Your ward has seen in her nightmares that he will take his life, and I would not be surprised if Arthur did. Your kingdom will fall and you will lose someone you took for granted. And once again, you will have only yourself to blame. And you too will beg for death before the end." A tear of passion brimmed Gaius' eye.

The king was at a point where he felt everything he thought he knew, everything he believed, everything he had done, was wrong. The boy, Merlin, had been Arthur's guardian angel, the other thing keeping Uther's kingdom together. Uther was realizing that everything Gaius had said was right, though Uther would have given anything not to hear it.

Gaius made to leave, but Uther called after him, "Gaius! Tell me what to do! I'm sorry now. Help me!" His throat caught painfully as he repressed the frightened tears attempting to escape.

The wise old man halted, and looked hopelessly back at the weak king. "There is nothing to do sire, the kingdom's doom was sealed by Merlin's death. All we can do is but wait for the end, and hope that it is quick." With that, Gaius turned, and like a ghost, resumed his aimless haunt, wandering though this once familiar place, looking for that semblance of peace that would never come.

Uther watched him disappear and knew that he would likely never see Gaius again, but how he knew this, Uther could not guess.

Somehow, Uther found his way to Ygraine's old chambers, before they had requested to share one. It had been long since Uther had been here, after all, Ygraine had wanted it to be their son's nursery, but Uther had later moved the nursery. They were too many memories. But here he was. And he had been right. There were too many memories.

Uther stepped gently over to the old four-poster bed where his love once slept. It still smelt like her. Uther closed his eyes and could almost hear Ygraine's voice, her sweet laugh.

Without thinking, Uther murmured, "Ygraine, what would you have me do?"

Part of him chastised himself for asked someone who could not reply. The other part of him knew Ygraine would have told him to do as would a father, not a king.

If only Ygraine was here, Uther thought bitterly. If only I had listened to Nimueh's warning. If only…

No. It would do no good to ponder over 'if only,' not when his son was going mad over the death of a loved one. Uther still could not understand this love Arthur had, but in comparison with the other more pressing issues, Uther decided to let it go. Right now, he had to focus. Of everything that he had learned about this servant's life and death, it did not change the fact that he still would need to find Nimueh.

A scuffle from behind Uther drew his attention and he turned s the figure standing there called his name, "Uther."

Uther looked at Nimueh, fury and rage building in his heart. She continued, "I know this must be hard for you." Uther interrupted her, "You know nothing!"

"I know that the reason your son is alive is because his servant was a sorcerer." She took a hesitating step forward.

Uther moved back from her, enraged, "You knew?"

Nimueh scowled briefly, "Of course I did. His magic spoke across the lands like a great wave. Many times I tried to reason with him, to convince him to let me train him, but his insisted on protecting your son."

"Arthur was betrayed by his so-called loyal and harmless servant!" Uther roared.

"You've have not heard all that your son has spoken in the dark; he speaks of understanding now that he knows."

Uther spluttered at Nimueh's impropriety. "You – or that boy – there is some enchantment on Arthur, impairing his judgment."

"You know there is no enchantment," Nimueh countered, "and you know that you were wrong."

"No, there is something wrong with him," Uther thinly insisted, "Otherwise, why else would he grieve himself into madness?"

"Hmmm," Nimueh started sarcastically, "your only son is losing his mind from guilt over the death of the one he loves, sound familiar?"

Uther advanced menacingly on Nimueh, "You go too far, witch."

Nimueh shrugged and held her ground, face inches from Uther's seething face, "Not nearly far enough, I think." She paused, "You don't know what to do because this is too much like Ygraine's death. You know how Arthur must feel."

"Of course I do! I'm his father. I have to know how my son feels," Uther valiantly claimed.

Nimueh scoffed, "What you think you know is the hallow loneliness and dark hopelessness that freezes his heart and twists his mind into wishing and delusions. That is what you know he feels. But you can't know how I feel. I, having been forced to play the role of the enemy, must live on, knowing what could have been. I was a mere puppet of the cruelest turn of fate, and I must carry this regret that all dealers in life and death must carry."

"But," Uther testily cut in, "then, why did you kill the boy if he was so important?"

"Arthur was not destined to die then. I had to comply with Merlin's exchange," Nimueh explained.

"Did he even know what his death would cause?" Uther snarled.

Nimueh smiled weakly, "That boy cared for your son deeply. You know this?"

"I've surmised that much," Uther looked down, slightly ashamed.

"Then, you know that Merlin's love outweighed any sense of risk," Nimueh stepped closer, "Sometimes, love is what we fight for, even when death is the only outcome."

Uther did not respond immediately, but when he did, he asked softly, his eyes vulnerable, "When you say death is the only outcome, what are you saying?"

Nimueh looked down and closed her eyes. Looking up, Uther saw the tear rolling down her cheek. "I feel it," she started, "the future, I mean. Arthur – he's going to kill himself – tonight. I feel it. He can't pretend anymore… His love is so cold and he couldn't save him… He had so much to tell him that he never said and it hurts so much being alone…" Nimueh gasped and a violent shudder passed over her and she was silent. Slow minutes passed, when finally, she looked back at Uther.

And he looked back, resigned, "What must I do?"

She looked sorrowfully at the father, "You know the boy must live."

Uther closed his eyes and let Ygraine's memory speak to him, her voice filling his mind. He opened his eyes, and knew now what he had to do.

"Then, Nimueh, I give my life in exchange for Merlin's."

Nimueh studied him, her impassive face seeming more impressed. "I would have thought you would have just struck me down with blade to exchange his life for mine."

Uther shook his head and stepped toward Nimueh, "No, I have stilled enough blood for a life. It is time I saved one meaningful life."

"You are a good man, Uther Pendragon," Nimueh murmured, still searching his eyes with her own.

"Just swear to me you will ensure their destiny comes to pass," Uther begged. Nimueh bit her lip, hesitating, and Uther repeated, "Swear to me! For Ygraine!"

Nimueh's resolve fell, "For Ygraine, I will do this and ensure your gift is fulfilled."

Uther gave a small breath of relief, looked up, and muttered, "Do it."

"Are you ready?" Nimueh inquired as she raised her hand for the exchange.

"Yes," Uther rushed, "Just do it before I change my mind."

Nimueh spoke in hurried words, the language of the Old Religion still sliding smooth off her tongue. She lowered her arm and whispered softly, "Goodbye, Uther." With that, Nimueh disappeared.

Uther had just enough life left in him to stumble back and fall upon the bed, where he sensed the embrace of Ygraine again and he could hear her voice calling him to her in Avalon.

**A/N: **Okay, so BIG apology for the delay. I joined the school swim team and now I have less time to visit my dear Merlin fandom, but hey, I'm getting a great tan and body out of it, so, do you forgive me? My goal is to have this finished before the end of May, hopefully before my AP exam, but who knows. Shout out to the lovely reviews I've received (a list will be in the final chapter). I will work on the final chapter and in the meantime, I'm hoping for maybe 10 more reviews, because I'm greedy and evil (I hope that's not asking for too much). Anywho, click the green thingy down there to comment/review, much appreciated.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Sniffle, sniffle. Last chapter! And yes, I regret that I am a lying liar who tells lies and I boasted that I could have this finished by the end of May... Months and months later, and I have this offering to the slash and angst gods and you, my readers. So, without further ado - enjoy! Warnings: lotsa slash (don't like, don't read), mention of self-harm, character death, major Arthur OOC (see earlier chapters) Enjoy! *Insert disclaimer here*

**A Price Paid**

Desperate arms. Hollow. Possessive shoulders. Limp. Lonely heartbeats. Still. Shuddering gasps. Raw. Hot tears. Silent. Trembling fingertips. Empty. Sore eyes. Cold. Crumbling fantasies. Pale. Overwhelming regret. Lost. Anguished soul. Dead.

Arthur's head was screaming at his heart to see what was the truth in front of him. His lying heart swelled and broke and burned and froze and twisted and exploded and rose and fell and fought and died and -

"Oh Merlin - why?" Arthur choked. "How can you really be dead? I feel like every living part of me is tearing me apart, but at the same time, it feels like you are so close - not gone, not yet."

Arthur heaved as he sobbed deeper, but he had wept now for so long, that his tears had become trails of salt and his throat had filled with sand.

His mind was so unwell, but the scariest part was that he could only now see it. All the things he had done. All the things he had said, especially to Merlin... But mostly, it was all the games and lies he had played and pretended that howled in his mind. Now that he could see clearly, it made him even more wretched and despairing. Furthermore, it seemed that each moment that Arthur fell farther and farther from the world of the living, it was as if a future, greater and bigger than him was crashing and fading.

How he wished to return to when he could say those things to Merlin and Merlin would actually hear him and forgive Arthur for being such a stupid prat. If only Arthur had saved Merlin as he had done for the prince so many times before. If only Arthur has stopped Merlin from going... in more ways than one.

Within a week, Arthur had nearly lost his life, but had lost his deepest love, and was losing his mind. He didn't belong here. This castle and his people deserved a better future, and now, they would never get it. Without Merlin, they would all fade into chaos and ruin, mist and shadow.

Arthur knew that his death would be the beginning of this end. How he knew this, he did not know.

But, what he did know was that he was in a sense already dead.

Part of his soul had died the moment Merlin had. Since then, there was nothing but a dense and cruel fog, a waking nightmare with no repose. Arthur longed for an encompassing sleep to sweep him away, one where Merlin and his sweet smiles and playful jests did not haunt him, but one where they were free. But that would not come until his body had followed his soul into death.

Well, there was really no point in delaying the inevitable and slow decay; and there was only one way to make the pain in his heart stop now.

Arthur saw the glint shimmer in the din like a beacon of refuge and he found his way to join his beloved Merlin.

He reached for the cold, constant, and keen dagger, shocked by how much it was like his Merlin. It was always near him. A secure presence. Eager to serve him, but also a nuisance to keep up with. The chill of the blade even matched the numb of Merlin's ghostly skin. How ironic was it that it would be this fatal knife that would remind him so much of Merlin, and that it would the very instrument that would bring him to Merlin in Avalon, where they could spend the rest of eternity together in the greatest adventure of all.

Arthur swiftly kissed Merlin's dry, but smooth lips, and prepared himself. Holding Merlin tightly with his left arm, Arthur raised the dagger above him and aimed for his heart. With a dark resignation, he thrust the blade down at its mark and-

* * *

Gwen was always a light sleeper. When she used to live with her father, there would be so much ruckus and goings-on around the street even at night, so she couldn't help but to grow to wake at the most distant sounds. That night, she had cried herself to sleep again in Morgana's chambers. The loss of her dear friend was still raw and so affecting. Just as tragic as Merlin's passing was Arthur's reaction. Never before had Gwen seen someone more in grief that the Crown Prince had been that day. He had been quiet and gentle the first day, but sometime soon thereafter, the King that Arthur could have been faded into a madman. It struck her that Arthur could not live in this state for much longer; Morgana had told her as much.

No, Gwen was not going to sleep well for a long time.

So when Morgana gives a sudden shuddering shriek in the middle of the night, Gwen is by her side in an instant. Gwen tries to reassure Morgana that she is safe and it was only a dream, but at this point Gwen doesn't even believe the words herself. Morgana nods slightly to everything Gwen is saying, but is clearly not hearing, and she has a strange look in her eyes.

Gwen is almost afraid to ask, not because it is treason, but because she fears the answer, however, she manages to whisper, "What is yet to happen? Has Arthur..." She trails off at the eerie smile etched on her mistress's porcelain face.

"No," Morgana corrects in a quiet, distant voice. Morgana is still in disbelief over what she has seen. "At least, not yet," she admits darkly. "It is Uther."

Gwen cocks her head and hesitates, "Will Arthur kill Uther?" Sorrow leeches into the words and Gwen hates herself just a little bit for asking.

Morgana just looks at her for a hushed moment, and then she laughs - no, cackles. "No!" Morgana half-sighs, half-screeches. "Uther is dead!" Gwen cannot help but to be frightened by how delighted Morgana sounds.

"I don't understand," Gwen murmurs.

Morgana takes Gwen by her hands, pulling her in close, and this time, it's Morgana who must reassure Gwen, "It's alright. Shhh." And Gwen notices that she is somehow crying. "It's fine, Gwen. Uther chose to die to save Arthur. He has seen the truth and has given the gift only a father could have given."

"But, I thought Arthur wasn't dead," Gwen ventures, still not clear.

"He isn't ... not yet, at least." Morgana admits darkly, but she quickly smiles and giggles brightly, "Don't you see, Uther traded his life for the one person who could stop Arthur from what he is about to do."

Morgana paused as Gwen gasped, "Merlin!"

"Yes," Morgana beamed, "Uther has redeemed himself in my heart and I hope that it is not too late."

"Too late?" Gwen exclaims, horrified. "I thought you said Arthur was fine?"

Morgana closes her eyes as a spasm goes through her.

When her eyes open again, they shine golden for an instant, but Gwen doesn't miss it. And that part of herself that she never thought could ever fear Morgana, not fear _for_ Morgana, but actually _fear_ Morgana, it suddenly feels a jolt of electricity as Morgana's power flares brilliantly, but oh so wildly.

Morgana rasps, and her arms flail in all directions, reaching to help, to stop, to do something, Gwen doesn't know, but it makes no difference to Gwen as she gently maneuvers around the frenzied motion and does her best to restrain and relax her mistress. She feels Morgana's shoulders, tense as rock under her trembling hands. Then, suddenly Morgana goes limp and she rasps, "He is so cold and I cannot let him be so cold and we can be warm in Avalon together. This is the only way we can be together..." Gwen realizes that Morgana is speaking what must be Arthur's thoughts and is therefore, frightened when Morgana - no, Arthur, trails off. Then Morgana is back looking at Gwen with watery eyes and look of pure horror. "Gwen..." she whimpers.

"Shhhh..." Gwen can only hush and try to comfort her mistress by embracing her and rubbing small circles on her back and wishing this was all some horrible nightmare they could all wake up from.

* * *

-and the blade stopped an inch from Arthur's heart. Arthur opened the eyes he didn't realized he had scrunched in anticipation, and they were promptly met with a sight that could not be real. Merlin's eyes were open and golden, but no, that wasn't right. He must be dreaming or just hallucinating in his grief. Arthur forced himself to ignore this false vision and proceed with his death. Her raised the blade up once more and was just about to bring the dagger down into his broken heart.

Then Merlin spoke.

"You selfish prat! You will not hurt yourself!" A wave of power rushed from Merlin's shaky and now upraised arm and forced the dagger across the room with a small clatter.

Arthur looked numbly to his empty hand, then across the room to where the dagger lay innocently in a corner. Arthur looked back, wide-eyed and breathing heavily, to where he was holding Merlin in a one-armed embrace. He could now feel some warmth passing from Merlin into his arm. "Merlin!" Arthur exclaimed, gently letting Merlin back down on the bed. He desperately begged, "Is it really you?"

Merlin shifted a bit in Arthur's arms. "Why am I in your bed?" Merlin instead blurted incredulously.

Arthur let out the most genuine laugh Merlin had ever heard from him and began to cry again, this time they were tears of joy. "Oh Merlin..."

Arthur collapsed on Merlin's chest, sobbing into Merlin's clothes, elated at the pure warmth he felt coming from under Merlin's tunic. Arthur gave a shuddering sign of relief as he heard that delightful thump-thumpa-thump-thumpa of Merlin's beating heart.

"Arthur...?" Merlin hesitated.

"I thought I had lost you. I failed you... and after all those times you've saved me - Gaius told me. Merlin, I can't lose you again."

Merlin was in utter shock for a moment. Never had he seen such emotion from the prince, and Merlin didn't even want to think about that cursed dagger or why Arthur had been trying to...

Merlin slowly placed a hand on Arthur's shaking back trying to soothe Arthur. Then, as his mind cleared from the fog, a flood of memories crashed upon his mind. Arthur, Gwen, Morgana, and Gaius had come to rescue him, but it was too late. They brought him back to Camelot and Arthur found out about Merlin's magic from Gaius. Arthur had guarded Merlin's body from prying arms, he even declared his love for Merlin. His prince had fought soldiers, refuted friends, denied his father, and made an attempt on his own life, all from the grief that Merlin's death had caused.

"Oh Arthur," Merlin gasped, "I am so sorry for everything. I will never leave you ever again. In fact, I don't think that my soul left your side after..." Merlin trailed off.

Arthur lifted his head and slowly rose to a kneeling position. "Swear it!" Arthur demanded.

"What?" Merlin asked.

Arthur bit back a small sob, "Swear to me that you will stay by my side for as long as I live. Promise!"

Merlin looked into those raw blue eyes and felt his own burn gold. He felt his lips move, but was aware of something larger than him, above his mind was speaking, "I, Merlin, son of Hunith, do swear fealty unto you, Arthur Pendragon, my lord, my king, and my destiny. And I do swear that I will stay by his side for all of his life doing my best to protect him, and I vow to guard and carry his memory until either we meet again in the next life or until the end of all things."

Arthur stared for a moment in disbelief, and Merlin was relieved to see a calmness pass through him. "Thank you, Merlin," Arthur whispered.

They rested for a while, lying side by side on Arthur's bed, just reveling in the mutual sensation of a future thought lost reemerging and shining the brighter for it.

Merlin turned on his side to face Arthur, who likewise moved on his side to face Merlin. "You know," Merlin started, "I remember everything that happened, and everything you said to me when I was gone."

Arthur blushed, avoiding Merlin's eyes. "Well, Merlin, I - um, the grief..." he mumbled embarrassedly.

Merlin cut him off with a soft kiss. "I feel the same, you prat. I thought it was obvious!"

Arthur grinned cheekily, "Well, why wouldn't you fall for me? I'm handsome, dashing, sensitive, royalty, oh, and did I mention good-looking."

"You absolute prat," Merlin laughed, "Honestly, I don't know why I put up with you sometimes."

"Whatever the reason," Arthur replied, "I'm just glad that you do."

Merlin looked determinably into Arthur's eyes, "And I will _always_ put up with you."

Their lips met again and a single, beautiful word fell from Arthur's mouth in a small, happy breath, "Forever."

They spent the rest of the night like that, wrapped in each other's arms. The two sides of the coin had been minted together with that oath and the destiny that awaited them flooded the future.

* * *

Across the castle, Morgana's eyes flashes gold again and Gwen watches in amazement, or possibly fear, as a smile, so bright it seems to light the room, runs across Morgana's lips.

"It's back," Morgana gasps, her eyes still wild and unfocused "Oh, it's so brilliant. The things yet to come, Gwen, it's like the sun and the stars. It was there. Then not. Then better. And Arthur is-will be so much colors, laughing, and drums. And Merlin was-is-will be fire and lightning, never thunder, only once, and wind a lot and _life, _always, but only is-will-always-neverwithoutArthur. Merlin is-was-will be more, but Arthur's is-will be most because he's Arthur's. But he's Merlin's too, and the coin never is flipped, it only is. Do you see, Gwen? And there is string, like glass, no, like spider-silk, and it ties them so tight. They will not be room save there in them, but there must-will-can be, only in the eye. The words are humming in the ground, in the sky, in you, in me. The sun is scorching it into the earth and all the stars and time. But the shadow got longer when it got better. It was will-could-may-wasn't, then it is-will be. Honey and metal. It tastes like... it tastes like that. The tree is waiting, but, but so is the water. And they keep the light bright because they hold so soft and pull the string, so they are-will be good. The string won't-can't snap. And then the world is like the there, not there, and better, but it's there, always, but it loses, and it gains, and it's not the same there, but still they are-will be good. When the dark thinks the there is gone, but it isn't, because it's better and always from the words that are humming and scorching, that's when the tree and water are best. Then the coin is remade, like the world and the there, always, and not except for sometimes, but not the same but always the tied coin. And the _life_ that may-could-will, it's like the there and this, but it's so much more because the string is time now and everything there ever was-is-will be. Do you understand? Do you see Gwen? So beautiful and the bright, oh, it's brighter and the sun and stars are burning but they want to and they are-will always burning, burning brighter, brighter, brighter and hotter, always, until the..."

Morgana's eyes, no longer gold, are focusing at last, and no Gwen won't-doesn't-can't understand, but she needs to tell her. Morgana takes Gwen's shaking hands in her own and with the most sincere voice she can muster she assures her, "Gwen, the best part is that everything is going to be alright."

Gwen cautiously searches Morgana's eyes and finds the echo of that truth and in that instant, yes, Gwen feels, knows, that everything is and will be alright.

With that, Gwen's sentiments passed through the castle, beyond Camelot and Albion, and across the lands of the world.

**A/N:** So, I tried to toss a little M/A fluff in there, cause, there way I see it, there was a heckava lot of angst in this fic already and the boys have the rest of their lives to be angsty. It was so much fun writing Morgana at the end because, I figured that all of time and destiny crashing in on her would have a detrimental effect on her grammar, descriptions, and tenses. Anywho, I liked writing that part because Morgana is hinting at so much of the legend (the failure of Arthur and Gwen's marriage, the inevitable bloody end [blood has a metallic taste], and how Arthur goes to Avalon [a lake] and Merlin is kept in a tree), and she even predicts that Merlin and Arthur will return and do great things; etc.

Well hope you enjoyed this fic. I can't believe it's over! Quick thanks to everyone who's read this, subscribed to this, and especially favorited this. Sorry about all the delays, but my writer's block is officially over now :D

Please toss me a COMMENT or REVIEW, by clicking that charming little button below. Thanks again!


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